On Saturday we took Matthew a little Halloween gift. The gates to the cemetery closed at 5pm so we had to walk to the back of the cemetery to see him. Jackson was soo excited to be there. He instantly ran up to Matthews grave and said "Hi Matthew, Hi Matthew, Here's an acorn Matthew" He plopped himself right down next to him and started having a conversation!
My Boys-
As we were leaving Matthews grave site Jackson said "Bye Matthew, Love you Matthew, see you later". Such a bittersweet moment hearing Jackson talk to his little brother in Heaven as though he was still alive with us.
Sunday we carved pumpkins- Jackson wanted to cut it open but not grab the seeds out. He kept saying "Ewe Gross!"
Brent had a 30 pounder. Needless to say it took a long time to clean out and carve!
I am 38 weeks this week! Dr said I am 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. He stripped my membranes and said that next week if I want induced we can plan a date. I really want this baby to come natural but Brent's mom is coming into town the 1-8th so if baby hasn't made an appearance we'll be setting up a date. Most likely in a week and a few days we'll have our little boy! I'm excited, its a little crazy to think that after 2 pregnancies I will finally have a baby to hold. This pregnancy has seemed to be long. 28 weeks+ 38 weeks= holding a little boy in my arms to bring home.I think often about Matthew and can imagine him in our lives right now. Its almost been one year since we said goodbye- but feels at times like yesterday. I get anxious on some days to have this little one, as I know that once he is out, nothing bad can happen to him in my tummy. My worst fear is still waking up to him not moving.
Here's to the waiting game
