This week marks 27 weeks along in my pregnancy. Just last December I was 28 weeks headed to my doctor with fear that my second baby was no longer surviving. Every day that passes my nerves are a little more alert. If Baby boy #3 doesn't move for a period of time I become very aware and anxious. The other day I had a doctors appointment. The doctor asked me how I was "feeling about everything" (this being a big week in my book now). How do words really explain what my mind thinks about almost constantly? Everyday I think of Matthew. They say a butterfly is a symbol of a lost baby- and it seems as if every time I am outside there is a beautiful butterfly that passes. Jackson notices the smallest butterflies in the distance. Coincidence, not really I don't think. He knows who Matthew is and when asked where he is he says "Kevin" (Heaven). Just a couple weeks ago Jackson asked "Momma, we go see Maffew??"
Matthew at 28 weeks
Baby #3 27 weeks
One thing that does bring comfort is there are many differences at this stage of my pregnancy with this baby than there was with Matthew. I am carrying him much higher, I feel him kick a lot and higher, and I am growing bigger. I don't have the same feeling that something is wrong with my baby as with Matthew from the beginning I felt something very different. I know this baby boy is unique. I feel he is very special like he and Matthew knew what was going to happen. I wonder at times if this Baby was supposed to come sooner than later. I know that Heavenly father had a plan for all of these little Children and how glorious the day will be when we can see the Bigger picture of why we accepted these challenges.
I'm so grateful for this little boy who brings such happiness to our lives. Don't know what we would do without him.
Baby #3 27 weeks
One thing that does bring comfort is there are many differences at this stage of my pregnancy with this baby than there was with Matthew. I am carrying him much higher, I feel him kick a lot and higher, and I am growing bigger. I don't have the same feeling that something is wrong with my baby as with Matthew from the beginning I felt something very different. I know this baby boy is unique. I feel he is very special like he and Matthew knew what was going to happen. I wonder at times if this Baby was supposed to come sooner than later. I know that Heavenly father had a plan for all of these little Children and how glorious the day will be when we can see the Bigger picture of why we accepted these challenges.
I'm so grateful for this little boy who brings such happiness to our lives. Don't know what we would do without him.
1 comment:
I haven't checked blogs in MONTHS, and I read this post and cried :( You are so special Janeen. I'm so grateful to have you apart of our family :) Thank you for taking care of my sweet brother. You have a special family and we love you. Thanks for sharing
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